The Things Closest to Us

"Forgiving I" Encaustic 18x18, "Forgiving II" Encaustic 18x18, "Forgiving III" Encaustic 18x18, "Forgiving IV" Encaustic 30x30

The thing about being human is that we make mistakes. People fail each other. But it is what we do with it that makes the difference. These paintings, titled, Forgiving, I, II, III, and IV are just about that. I have to point out the irony about my process of painting. It is a very internal, intuitive process. It isn't until I am finished with a piece or a series of pieces that I realize just what they are about. Such was the case with these. Immediately upon completion I understood that these paintings were about my processing an idea called forgiveness. Now, forgiveness doesn't happen all at once, I think it happens in stages, thus the reason for more that just one painting. Sometimes one goes through a stage of forgiving, and then takes some of it back. In my experience, it's tricky. And, the colors are no coincidence either. These colors of blue and orange, those opposite on the color wheel, signify hot rage and its opposite, cool absolution. I think I hold them together in my heart, and I wait patiently for the scales to tip into the blue, for I am human too.

Building

"She Spoke" 30x30 Encaustic: This painting is part of a larger series called Fabrications. "She Spoke" refers to the conversations we have when we speak about our lives. We create stories, in a sense. Each mark is a building block in our story. Some stories are built out of love and truth, while others are built out of lies and deception. But these conversations build and break down all around us. Some remain blurry,but they are constantly being fabricated.



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"Transitions"....12x12 Encaustic...is about feelings of wonder, confusion, and plainly being struck off-balance. Passing from one state to another, life is full of transitions. It has been my recent observation that, our constructions, if based completely on feelings will lead us astray. Transitions come to us when we see the need for truth and authenticity.

Fleeting...

Ledges I and II are titled so because of where I find myself these days, at the precipice, the edge, looking onward. The green that is bleeding through to the front of the paintings represents the growth and opportunity that is presenting itself in my life today. But mixed in with these mounting possibilities comes risk, fear, and vulnerability, hence the red. If I don't cross over that ledge, or jump, I will not find what's on the other side waiting for me, the unknown- captured in the white. But it is important to forge ahead and trust in the universe and its plan for me. Time is fleeting, moments come and go. Things are forever changing. Boundaries are crossed, even broken. Things are born, and things expire. Sometimes it seems that nothing is ever really tangible. But I believe that in this transience there is a place for love and humanity and that no matter what happens in my life, looking over that ledge doesn't have to be a solitary experience.

"Transient" 30x30 Encaustic

Darkness Made Visible

                                     "Apparition I" 30x30 Encaustic

I originally started these paintings as a side exploration.  I was reading the book, Black: The History of a Color, by Michel Pastoureau when I decided I wanted to work with black and shades thereof.  Nothing happens by accident!  I chose my color palette, as I always do when I begin a painting...and it is typical that the painting only reveals itself to me at the very end.  So it was with this first painting.  I laid down the final mark and stepped away.  Much to my surprise, I saw the figure of a woman's body!  I could not deny it.  I called it Apparition because not only was it something or someone appearing to me it was something becoming visible, a truth, a reality.  It haunted me.  So I decided to create the next painting.

 

                                   "Apparition II"  30x30 Encaustic

My color choices, black, graphite grey, buff titanium, and light blue with a hint of brown pink, helped to give the paintings this ethereal look.  I continued to search for the person or truth that was trying to make itself known to me.  Between the time it took for me to paint the second and third painting, the darkness was made visible.  I just had to listen for it to be revealed.

                                  "Apparition III"  30x30  Encaustic

By the completion of the third painting, all was illuminated for me.  I am in a place of comfort and satisfaction in my life.  I know what I want and what I will do to get it.  I know who's important to me and who is just a passing phase.  I am in search of all that is true in life, in all beings and things.  Join me if you will....

                                       "Undergrowth"  30x30  Encaustic

Undergrowth is any vegetation in the forest that obstructs the passage through that said forest.  This painting is about the things in life that stunt our progress and growth.  It is about the little things that we don't necessarily see or feel that are happening at a most basic level, unbeknownst to us.  The canopy could be flourishing but there is still brush getting in the way.  It could be a bad habit, a person, place, or thing...causing us to go off track or get lost.  We weren't given directions.  We need to trust in the "forest", our community, that we will find the way.

                                       "Abundance"  30x30  Encaustic

It is sort of funny that this painting immediately follows Undergrowth.  Despite the fact that we were not given a roadmap, we were provided with all the necessary tools that are needed to get through this life.  I believe that if take the time to pause and listen to the ultimate source of things, we will get our direction.  Life is full.  Life is abundant.  Everything we need is right here at our fingertips.  Live.  Laugh.  Love.

                                          

                                             "Wistful"  30x30  Encaustic

I like "Wistful" because it is sort of a conundrum.  It is pretty on the outside but really spinning out of control upon closer inspection.  The painting is about vague yearnings and disconnectedness.  Despite the airy, bubbly feel the work exudes, none of the lines in the painting, although very active, ever connect.  I think I can make this leap into how I and perhaps many of us have at one point or another have dealt with situations in life.  How often do we put on a pretty face, a facade, when the inside is crumbling?  How often do we show our true desires or our lack of satisfaction?  All the extras- clothes, make-up, perfect hair or body, they don't add up to understanding and true, ultimate satisfaction.  I strive in my life to come to the center and recognize my desires and present the true me.

                           "Through the Course of Time"  30x30  Encaustic

This painting is simply about opportunity and relationships.  It is my belief that over time things will happen as they are supposed to and not how we will them to.  There are no coincidences in life, things come together as they are meant to.  Despite all of our best efforts, the universe has the last laugh!

"I Dreamt of Red" 30x30 Encaustic



I will be showing at NK Gallery with other artists- Tracy Spadafora, Heather Hilton, and Kathy Halamka.  All works include encaustic in some way.  The show is from June 29th through July 20th, with a reception on July 6th, from 5-8pm.  Please join me in celebrating this new work!